Do you know what's the worst part about being in this crappy
hospital? About lying in this Goddamned bed?
- Being strapped to these heart monitors and gadgets that form the process of chemotherapy?
- The excruciating pain that fills your body with each breath I take?
- The insomniac nights that evolved into decades?
Wrong. It's the fact that I've been staring at that fucking door for a year and a half now hopefully maybe somebody that isn't wearing a doctor's uniform will come in.
Let me tell you something about life: the worst part of growing up was High-school and it's grotesque ball-squeezing years. As I grew older, I always looked back at those fuckwit kids that thought their „reputation” will help them through the brain-penetraring process life was preparing for them.
The „friends” I made in college were all rich so, in order to keep up with the big league, I had to be the good guy that helps everybody. As their parents were politicians, managers and CEO's, I never felt the lack of hearing promises like „dude, I'll hook you up once we graduate”. College ended relatively fast and after a few more months, my „friends” were nowhere to be found. It wasn't that that heartbreaking to me because I was skeptic about their dedication in the first place.
I got a job as an editor for a local newspaper and I could barely afford paying the rent.
„Who needs money Jason?”
I met Natalie four years ago and being with her was the best portion of my pointless life. We first met in a restaurant called „Charlize”. An ex-colleague of mine, Eric, was running the place so I swallowed the remains of my pride and came to ask for a job. The manager said he was having a n important meeting so I had nothing left to do but wait for him. As I was checking the fancy decorations that were definitely worth more than my organs on the Black Market, I crossed my eyes with a beautiful lady that was sitting alone by her table. She presented herself as Natalie and invited me to keep her company. An hour later I literally forgot about all my problems and all I could've thought about, was another date with her.
Her face was fair, her person-pleasing, her temper-amiable, and her heart-kind, she was delighted in relieving the wants of her fellow creatures, and cultivated that divine pleasure by the most liberal and unpretending methods; to the poor she was a benefactor; to the rich-an example; to the wretched-a comforter; to the prosperous-an ornament; her piety went hand in hand with her benevolence.
I proposed to her at the same restaurant, at the same table. She undoubtably said yes so many times that I lost count after the sixth time.
„Huh, The Johnsons” - „ Huh, in your dreams”
I got promoted and became a editor for a more popular magazine. Every moment was perfect; I used to take her out every Saturday night. It was just a sign of dedication and respect towards her. In return, she baked me my favourite apple pie every single Sunday afternoon.
...Ugh...water...dry...glass...please... „Save it Jason, no one gives two shits about your worthless ass. Your own children forgot about you, why would the children beg to differ?”
My God, she was truly beautiful. I always thought of newborn babies as disgusting creatures, but this was my creature, the gorgeous little angel, Marion. She had Natalie's blue eyes.
Soon after that, little Tommy was born – the man of the house. „What house Jason? Are you fucking insane? There is no such thing! Gone! Puh!”
What time is it? „Time to click, click, Jason”
Someone, anybody, please walk throught that door. Come on...4...3...2...1...Shit.
Thoughts, thoughts, halluci-memories, regrets, mistakes, sins, Bum!...Gone...Here again.
I vas head-covered into work when I first heard about this new guy, Jeremy Taylor; I'll never forget the fucker's name. You must be a total vegetable in order not to be jealous of such a rich-bigshot businessman. I never saw what my kids saw in this guy. Obviously, both Tommy and Marion were in their teenage years and that's when the expensive phones and trendy clothes came in handy. That's how he got my kids and that's how he got Natalie. That's how I got sick.
„It is they who are sick, no no no no please, it is they who are dead”
I am no gun expert but I am definitely good at hallucinating them...
„Pull the trigger...CLICK!...Ha!...Bum”
Yeah right, how can I shoot a gun when I'm not even able to eat properly?
„Jason....ooo Jaaason....”
Is that what they say your life flashes in front of your eyes before you die?
Someone turn the Goddamned heat up. It's like -30 degrees in here. It's raining and the ice has covered the walls. How's that for special effects? 10/10.
- Being strapped to these heart monitors and gadgets that form the process of chemotherapy?
- The excruciating pain that fills your body with each breath I take?
- The insomniac nights that evolved into decades?
Wrong. It's the fact that I've been staring at that fucking door for a year and a half now hopefully maybe somebody that isn't wearing a doctor's uniform will come in.
Let me tell you something about life: the worst part of growing up was High-school and it's grotesque ball-squeezing years. As I grew older, I always looked back at those fuckwit kids that thought their „reputation” will help them through the brain-penetraring process life was preparing for them.
The „friends” I made in college were all rich so, in order to keep up with the big league, I had to be the good guy that helps everybody. As their parents were politicians, managers and CEO's, I never felt the lack of hearing promises like „dude, I'll hook you up once we graduate”. College ended relatively fast and after a few more months, my „friends” were nowhere to be found. It wasn't that that heartbreaking to me because I was skeptic about their dedication in the first place.
I got a job as an editor for a local newspaper and I could barely afford paying the rent.
„Who needs money Jason?”
I met Natalie four years ago and being with her was the best portion of my pointless life. We first met in a restaurant called „Charlize”. An ex-colleague of mine, Eric, was running the place so I swallowed the remains of my pride and came to ask for a job. The manager said he was having a n important meeting so I had nothing left to do but wait for him. As I was checking the fancy decorations that were definitely worth more than my organs on the Black Market, I crossed my eyes with a beautiful lady that was sitting alone by her table. She presented herself as Natalie and invited me to keep her company. An hour later I literally forgot about all my problems and all I could've thought about, was another date with her.
Her face was fair, her person-pleasing, her temper-amiable, and her heart-kind, she was delighted in relieving the wants of her fellow creatures, and cultivated that divine pleasure by the most liberal and unpretending methods; to the poor she was a benefactor; to the rich-an example; to the wretched-a comforter; to the prosperous-an ornament; her piety went hand in hand with her benevolence.
I proposed to her at the same restaurant, at the same table. She undoubtably said yes so many times that I lost count after the sixth time.
„Huh, The Johnsons” - „ Huh, in your dreams”
I got promoted and became a editor for a more popular magazine. Every moment was perfect; I used to take her out every Saturday night. It was just a sign of dedication and respect towards her. In return, she baked me my favourite apple pie every single Sunday afternoon.
...Ugh...water...dry...glass...please... „Save it Jason, no one gives two shits about your worthless ass. Your own children forgot about you, why would the children beg to differ?”
My God, she was truly beautiful. I always thought of newborn babies as disgusting creatures, but this was my creature, the gorgeous little angel, Marion. She had Natalie's blue eyes.
Soon after that, little Tommy was born – the man of the house. „What house Jason? Are you fucking insane? There is no such thing! Gone! Puh!”
What time is it? „Time to click, click, Jason”
Someone, anybody, please walk throught that door. Come on...4...3...2...1...Shit.
Thoughts, thoughts, halluci-memories, regrets, mistakes, sins, Bum!...Gone...Here again.
I vas head-covered into work when I first heard about this new guy, Jeremy Taylor; I'll never forget the fucker's name. You must be a total vegetable in order not to be jealous of such a rich-bigshot businessman. I never saw what my kids saw in this guy. Obviously, both Tommy and Marion were in their teenage years and that's when the expensive phones and trendy clothes came in handy. That's how he got my kids and that's how he got Natalie. That's how I got sick.
„It is they who are sick, no no no no please, it is they who are dead”
I am no gun expert but I am definitely good at hallucinating them...
„Pull the trigger...CLICK!...Ha!...Bum”
Yeah right, how can I shoot a gun when I'm not even able to eat properly?
„Jason....ooo Jaaason....”
Is that what they say your life flashes in front of your eyes before you die?
Someone turn the Goddamned heat up. It's like -30 degrees in here. It's raining and the ice has covered the walls. How's that for special effects? 10/10.
The
only source of heat in this room is the freshly-baked apple pie on
the foot of my bed.
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